Rules of Da Sauna
Finnish emigrants brought the sauna with them to the USA. The are around the Great Lakes was particularly popular and there are still a number of saunas as well as Finnish descendants there.
Slow learners, Finns did not entirely learn the aspects of the local language. The resulting mix of English words and Finnish pronounciation might have sounded something like this. (You can relive the effect by listening to Finnish politicians giving any speech in English.)
Courtesy of G. T., here are rules for the sauna in an authentic Finnish emigrant pronounciation. And correct spelling to help those who can't figure out what is going on.
1. Sit on ta pench at yuu own rrrisk |
1. Sit on the bench at your own risk! |
2. Memper tis: Tuu muts teem kets yuu real tissy. Yuu dumbel town ant prake yuu pones! |
2. Remember this: too much steam gets you real dizzy. You tumble down and break your bones.! |
3. If svet kets in yuu eyes, chust plink a coppla dimes!! |
3. If sweat gets in your eyes just blink a couple of times!! |
4. If yuu kets a sliffer in yuu packside from ta pench, ton't holler tuu lowt. Naypers vil tink vee putersing a pic, ant pt looken for porks sops nex tay, ant rit avay pe asken, " Vhen ta het cease pe ton?"! |
4. If you get a sliver in your backside from the bench, don't holler too loud. Neighbours will think we are butchering a pig and will be looking for pork chops the next day, and right away be asking... |
5. Vhen yuu all ton (or yuu lips on ta sop), pudit inta sop tis. Ton't leaf it melden onta pench! |
5. When you're all done (or you slip on the soap), put it in the soap dish, Don't leave it melting on the bench.! |
6. If yuu get tuu hot, ko chump in ta lake! |
6. If you get too hot, go jump in the lake.! |
7. Ven man and veman ko sauna, rule tis, pehave in sauna as yuu wood in church.! |
7. When man and woman go Sauna, rule is, behave in Sauna as you would in the church! |